We're Kind of a Big Deal

I dunno if you guys have heard, but these days, the Chupacabra Conspiracy is super-legit. We have a show coming up, this shiny new website and a revamped Facebook page. Things are looking up, my friends, and we at the Chupacabra Conspiracy are making it our priority to start thinking and acting like big time performers.

Just this morning we started working on the rider we'll be sending to the people at the PIT. Take a look at our first page:

We're still hammering out the other 16 pages. Believe you me, though, no stone will be left unturned here. I plan to bring my dog to the dressing room so naturally I'm asking for 50 Denta Bones to be chilled and left in a small basket by the door. Here are some things our individual members have submitted requests for:

• Michelle has already asked for a 10 pound bag of Swedish Fish
• Tom is adding a clause to have an Encyclopedia Britannica within a 15 foot radius of each dressing room
• Adrian is requesting a case of Beck's beer cooled to 42 degrees Fahrenheit.
• Helen is drafting plans for her own walk-in vodka freezer. Not sure the specs on that have been finalized
• Jessica is booking a yoga and Pilates instructor to be on-call for the duration of the set and rehearsal. She's also booking backups and backups for the backups
• Peter is asking for the latest 6 issues each of Batman, Amazing Spider-Man and Astonishing X-Men to be present in each dressing room

Are we getting too big for our britches? You bet your moderately-sized behind we're not. These are simple requests, folks. If I could go out to a local farm to hunt, pluck, skin and butcher my own deli turkey, I would.*

Here's an idea: why don't you come see us in action and you can judge for yourself if the Chupacabra Conspiracy is worth all this hoopla (I assure you we are). You can buy tickets by visiting this website.

*And by this I mean I absolutely wouldn't