You guys. It's been a really long time since we got together. How are you? New job treating you well? What's that, you've been there for five years? Oh, well congrats on that then. I guess you and James (John? Jason? Javier?) are probably enjoying that bump in your personal economy. I'm sure you all had a lovely wedding. When are the kids getting here? Ha! I kid, I kid. No pressure, obviously. Wait, what? You and Jacob have been divorced for 3 years? Well, that's a shame. Can't say I didn't see it coming, though. I did tell you he was kind of a loser that one time. Oh, I didn't tell you that? Oops.
It's been longer than I thought. We should rectify the situation by you coming to our show. We know you probably have questions, too. Keep reading to find your answers and comment if you have a question we didn't address.
The Chupacabra Conspiracy Presents:
A Retreat from Decency
Frequently Asked Questions
1.
When
are you having a show?
Funny you should ask.
We are having one in less than two weeks. It will be on the Mainstage theater
at 7pm at The People’s Improv Theater on 24th between Park and
Lexington.
2.
Will
there be short form improv?
Yes. Short form
improv is how we became acquainted in the first place but it’s been awhile
since we performed it for an audience. Consider this a return to our roots.
3.
Will
there be sketch comedy?
Yes. Sketch comedy is
our bread and butter.
4.
Will
there be long form improv?
Yes. We have been
working on this aspect of our comedy repertoire for some time and hope to treat
you to a hearty belly laugh or two.
5.
Will
there be shapeshifting robots?
No. You are probably
thinking of the Transformers movie franchise, which features Transformers:
robots in disguise. I think a new one came out earlier in the summer starring
Mark Wahlberg as the new Shia LaBeouf. You may have missed the boat on
productions involving shapeshifting robots.
6.
Are
you following the US Open?
No. Frankly, I’m not
entirely sure how tennis works. What I know is that beautiful people use a
snowshoe to swat at a fuzzy, green ball and there are games, sets, and matches
but I don’t know in which order and how many of each.
7.
Am I
invited?
Yes. Everyone is
invited. Please find a list of who is invited below:
·
You
·
Your friends
·
Your mom
·
Everyone
The last bullet point is a catch-all for
anyone I missed. This could be your dad. Or your bartender. It includes
everyone.
8. Why are you all making such unpleasant
faces in that photo?
How do I put this
delicately? Helen farted while we were taking pictures. This is why we can’t
have nice things.
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